Lucy, this is beautiful and heartbreaking. I’m so sorry.
Say, can’t help but notice that your name is misspelled in the title tag.
This is why I’m too scared to start any kind of serious relationship with anyone… I don’t want to have to say goodbye.
But you seem a strong person. I know you’ll get through it, though it doesn’t help to think that now.
lucy – your drawing & imagery are super, not to mention a story with pathos & wit. my friend’s daughter just made a movie about a young couple dealing with love/individualism/grad school – Breaking Upward – that is still playing at the IFC in NYC & opened last weekend in LA – both NY & LA Times gave rave reviews. it’s also on a lot of pay-per-view cable networks. I think you might appreciate it – pathos&wit.
your work is great – keep it up. appee-b.
Wow, well done, good luck and hang in there!
Please do not just give up if he is precious to you. And if he is not, then you should end things immediately and make it easier for yourself and him too. And do not make a “funny story” out of it, that’s just too cruel.
I just realized I will have to work even harder on my own relationship. Even if we are both old and our life differs from yours, my husband could leave me anytime, he is a free person in a free country, and there is just not a point in time where I could slump and get distracted. I am sad for you, but you gonna fight and if you do not fight you cannot complain about a loss like that. Women and men are naturally equal, like you often point out, even if it is still not implemented in all societies and in all places, in rights but also in responsibilities. If you slump and get distracted and treat your partner coldly, even for one day, all could end anytime. If you have no real reason for distraction, like serious illness or troubles, then you are showing off disinterest and dishonesty. If your partner is good and interesting only during sunny days and when you feel like it, then you are staying with the wrong person. If your heart does not beat wildly or glow with inner light when you think about him, then it is not love, it is not real. Real love does not wear off. I wish for you to experience the same and not get lost in the wrong direction and the mists of distraction and weakness.
Great site. A lot of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends!
i guess this just caught me off guard. i’m in a relationship that looks like it’s nearing the end, and this just about broke my heart.
your art is beautiful. and i’m thrilled you’re one of the many artists going to tcaf! i’m so exxxciiiiited
Beautiful comic, Lucy! I hope everything will turn out okay in the end for both of you.
I hope it all works out for you. I moved to England to change schools and finish my Fine Art degree, and be with my long distance boyfriend. It’d really scary sometimes to think that in the next couple of years it will be too difficult to be together and we will go our own ways. I guess the worst part is loosing someone who knows you so well and starting over from scratch. good luck Lucy, I hope you pull through it all.
I just went through a very similar break up. We dated for five years and for the last 6 months of that we both knew it was over but were scared to hurt the other one. Sticking around to make sure neither party got hurt really just made it worse in the long run. So give yourselves credit for making that clean break when you knew the time was right.
We broke it off 4 months ago and I can tell you from where I stand now, it wasn’t easy. The attachments and routines you build over five years are hard to shake. What kept me from running back to the comfort I thought I needed was remembering that this was the best thing for both of us. We broke it off because we knew we both wanted very different things out of life and were becoming different people. But now, 4 months later, I feel better and I know with out any doubt it was the best possible thing we could have done.
I cringed a little over the panel with all your fears. I had the exact same thoughts. It sucked. Somehow it made it better when I realized that everyone worries about those same things. You’ll be okay. One day it’ll just click; you’re gonna be okay.
Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!
Very similar thing happened to me last year. Sucks. Big sympathy to you and John.
I’ve been reading your comics avidly since picking up a copy of French Milk when it came out. I love your work and the way you can break down difficult situations into different components, as in this comic. My longtime boyfriend (also named John) and I got a cat around the same time you guys got Linney, so I couldn’t help but feel close to you guys. We just got engaged a few months ago, and while I am elated, there is a part of me that wishes I could live 2 lives and just see what would happen if we did decide to go separate ways. I think there will always be this kind of doubt no matter which way we decide is best. Thanks for your work, and I hope you can use it to help with hard choices like this one. Rock on!
This is how my mom got my dad to stick around. She was like, “If I don’t get kids, I’m leaving you.” And he realized he’d rather start a family than lose his wife. And now I’m here telling this to you! Maybe you’ll reconnect, it’s sad you should split, you’re so perfect for each other.
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it
I just wanted to say your website is one of the nicely laid out, most inspirational I have come across in quite a while. Thx!
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!
So. Your comic was linked by Yuko from Johnny Wanderer in her twitter. And I started reading it from the beginning. And you’re my age and I got dumped from a 4 and a half year relationship back in December. It still hurts, but reading this and seeing your fears and concerns helped me because it has been hard and it will be hard, but I’ll be fine and you’ll be fine too. And that’s all I’m saying because I feel all teary now. But thank you.
it was very interesting to read.
I want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
And you et an account on Twitter?
Oh Lucy. I love you.
I’ve been going through similar motions Wuth anxiety and depression and to get my mind off things, I’ve been playing video games a lot. It gets my mind off of thingswhike I wait for my meds to kick in.
We love you, Lucy! You’re not alone.
Thinking of you, Lucy.
Damn. That big panel with the black background has all of my own worries in it. I’m not sure if I should feel good that I’m not the only one or bad that there are so many.
Lucy! You must get your Stop Paying Attention pictures published!
I will pay anything for a volume of such treasures!
Проект Топ соляриев является эксклюзивным порталом в отрасли загара. Портал является структурированной системой объединяющей студии загара, и предоставляющей объективную оценку работы салонов. Объективность оценок в первую очередь достигается с помощью ваших отзывов и оценок студий загара.
I am so sorry, Lucy Knisley. Summer should be the BEST season of the year, especially in a cold windy city like Chicago. But I imagine this summer is not feeling like your best. I hope that fall finds you somewhere new and hopeful. If not New York, I have a different suggestion…
I’ve been following your blog for quiet a while and think you are such a phenomenal artist who often articulates how I feel, but with these last few comics it’s been so dead on it’s scary! I too just mutually ended a long term relationship with my live-in boyfriend as I prepare to move away for college. Its a big ol’ blow to the soul! I feel for you Lucy, and want to thank you for making these comics, reading them is like having my sentence finished.
I’m currently living out of boxes and about ready to make a huge life change. It is scary, and I’ve been very emotional. You just have to remember four very important things. One, you may feel you have lost everything, but remember, not all is lost. Two, your real friends will be there to help you pick yourself back up when things seem hopeless. I can honestly say I don’t know what I would do without them, and I’m so lucky to have them in my life. Three, marriage is overrated. Four, even though it may be hard at times, just get out the sketchbook and sketch your heart out. Whenever I get really really frustrated, it’s nice knowing I have the sketchbook to let out my sadness and frustration. Often, I come with some awesome ideas in the process, and the anxiety goes away.
Hey there. I’ve been a reader of your work for a very long time now, and have yet to comment on anything. Now feels like a pretty good time. Terribly sorry about John, everything will work out either way, though I’m sure you know that. Anyway, Just wanted to drop in and let you know that what you do is very worth while. Reading your comics makes my day (and I’m sure this goes for many others) a little easier and much more entertaining. I believe you’re web comics are by far my favorite out of the hundreds that I keep track of. They’re very artfully done and often contain very meaningful subjects. I find myself checking over and over again even when bloglines hasn’t updated me about a new post.
Hate when bad things happen to good people. But this might not be bad, it’s just different. And besides, nothing is really OVER OVER until you decide it’s OVER OVER. Until then everything is basically just PAUSED. You can always put the game back in and play as long as you want. It’s not as if you’ve destroyed the cartridge/disc. And who knows, you may find a game that you’ve never played before that you enjoy more than the previous one… A sequel perhaps?
Everything will always be okay, no matter what. You know? Best wishes Lucy, keep that chin up!
My best friend has been a fan of yours for a long time, so I finally sat down and read French Milk. Keep in mind that I am a comic book LOOKER and not READER. I tend to like books with pictures. Your wonderful storytelling really captured my attention, and I can only hope that this particular time in your life, your ability to hon your artistic excellence as a positive outlet continues. As a newer fan of yours, I look forward to seeing more spellbinding works.
The Many Standard Linney Formations recently appeared on the LOLCats website aka I Can Haz a Cheeseburger website and I loved it SO much that I tracked down the artist – you! Just want to say, “Thank you” for making me smile during a difficult week. Lula BTW is a Hug n’ Bite kinda kitty. The thanks I get for saving her from the streets!!!
I wish I had the right words to make you smile in return. I’m sorry that you’re going through a rough patch. The first year is the hardest then it gets easier. Have faith. Deep breaths.
On a more lighthearted note, panel one: Portrait of The Redhead From Every Ghibli Film Ever As A Young Woman In An Alternate Modern Universe
Really, the likeness is uncanny, were you aiming for that?
(not a bad thing btw)
I bought French Milk, loved it, and today my boyfriend forwarded me your site. I got to this comic and my heart stopped. This is my EXACT situation. Like, creepily exact. My boyfriend of 5 years (this summer) will be going to grad school, and I will not be following. I’ll be 25 this summer, want kids (he doesn’t), and will probably be making another cross country move to who-knows-where.
Anyway, this is just a note to say you are not alone. If you want to strike up a 25-year-olds-leaving-their-long-term-boyfriends-because-of-grad-school support group with me, please do email. Seriously.
Thank you for making this. I’m going through the exact same thing. Like it’s so strange to have a relationship for five years and everything is great but circumstance dictates that it’s just suddenly the end of the ride. Time to get off. Every single fear you wrote is my own, but I feel a little braver now that I read this….I guess I’m not the only one in the world.
My girlfriend sent me this. We are in the same situation. We’ve been together nearly seven years, and honestly we expected to marry at some point. She is going off to grad school next year. She has made it clear to me she never, ever will have children. And so we have to part. We have never fought, never cheated, never lied, share the same interests and I have never gotten tired of her being in my space or around me. She’s not my first long term relationship, but she’s the only one I was not ready for it to end when the time came.
I have until next September. I have no idea what to do. Other women just don’t interest me. And the day I know she’s dating someone else I doubt I’ll want to face the world. I don’t know what I would do if she had kids with another. Wish her well of course, but inside I would be torn apart, I wanted few things more than to make a family with her.
People who know us seem to think we are being stupid, that there is a compromise we should be finding. But there is none, she refuses to have a family. As is her right. And I absolutely respect her decision. I even respect her logic in reaching it, it fits her morals and ethics perfectly. Her ethical consistency is a huge part of her attractiveness to me, and is why I can’t go about trying to bend her to my needs, if she gave in I would no longer view her the same. But others don’t understand that.
I’m rambling. But this comic upset us both. Not because there is anything wrong with it. But because it is too true, and seeing the inevitable ahead when you are still in love with someone is extremely painful. But you still feel compelled to enjoy the time you have.
I broke up with my boyfriend in mutual agreement 3 months ago. That 7th panel is just perfect, it has everything I’m also dealing with ATM (except new haircuts, I’ve learned to better not touch my hair again after a break-up). This was really therapeutic to read, and made me smile, I really appreciate things like that at the moment.
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